By John Melnikov
Editor’s note: John Melnikov is a theology teacher at St. Joseph High School in Trumbull. A parishioner of St. Jude Parish in Monroe, he also serves as the current Grand Knight of Knights of Columbus Council 5987 at the parish.
In the moments before the bell rings to begin the school day, my students are busy getting themselves ready for their mornings by gathering books, materials and whatever else they will need for their first few classes.
Those who are already in their seats are either chatting with friends, looking over their notes, or scrolling on their phones. I always find myself wanting to encourage those on their phones to put them aside and interact with their classmates. Sometimes I do, and sometimes it actually works, but I am consistently taken aback by how the idea of actual interaction is always a second choice to scrolling social media.
As a teacher and a parent, my first inclination is to not only discourage the use of technology as a distraction, but also offer warnings about how scrolling can indeed become a dangerous addiction. As an adult living in Fairfield County, I am acutely aware of how ubiquitous cell phones and endless scrolling are. I may have even dabbled myself, although I will firmly deny this claim in front of my students and kids. For that reason, I have been attempting to discern how to encourage the utilization of tech in a manner that is more efficacious for my students and kids both mentally and spiritually.
If you can’t beat them, join them. But joining them doesn’t mean jumping in headfirst with no plan.
The reality of the situation can be discouraging. Today, teens are being formed and informed more by the algorithms that dictate their social media feeds than they are by traditional authority figures. Social media offers them a continual medium by which they can escape from the complexities of life in the modern world.
In engrossing themselves in the digital world, there is a loss of the moments where quiet contemplation lends itself to the desire to pray, think, and truly experience the peace that comes from entering into a meaningful relationship with Our Lord. When a teen spends too much time comparing themselves and their lives to idealized and edited lives of others, the results can lead to a slew of mental health issues. Without a solid relationship with parents and family, these issues can lead to personally damaging habits. But what about when parents and family aren’t immediately available for consultation and support?
In previous generations, the young Catholic man or woman who found themselves in that situation could turn to Jesus, his Blessed Mother, or any one of his saints for encouragement and support. While teens today can still do that—and should do that—too many of them do not know how to do that, because they have replaced the true peace and comfort of time with the divine with the momentary dopamine hit they get when they log onto TikTok or Instagram.
The domestic church needs to face this challenge head-on. Instead of vilifying social media scrolling—and by proxy, the pastime of an entire Western generation—parents should attempt to discern how they can encourage their children to use social media in a responsible, measured way.
First off, a return to traditional family time must be made paramount. Kids need to understand that there are times when cell phones should not only be turned off, but kept out of sight, and ideally, in a different room from where the family is gathering. Time limits and usage boundaries are the first steps needed to ensure that teens are not becoming too engrossed in the digital world. The times when phones are conspicuously missing are the perfect moments to reintroduce prayer. Smart phones out, Jesus in.
Parents should also do their best to make sure that the Eucharist is not only mentioned regularly, but pointed to purposely as the one thing that can bring lasting peace and courage to their hectic and fast-paced lives. Time without the glow of the phone on their faces should be spent doing things and talking about things that touch their hearts. They get enough instruction at school and in their extracurricular activities.
Several Catholic prayer apps are free to download, and even more that parents can buy a subscription to. These can be presented to teens as an alternative to apps that they spend nearly all of their time on. It might take them some time to get used to using them, but I have found that after a while, my students turn to them naturally, without prompting throughout the course of their days.
While the digital world may seem overwhelming and impossible to mount a strong defense against, nothing is more powerful or transformative than grace. When we put our trust fully in him to help us lead those in our charge towards a life lived with purpose and faith, we are undertaking what is quite possibly the most important work that parents and teachers are tasked with in our modern age.
No one said it would be easy, and in fact, I don’t think it is supposed to be easy. However, nothing is impossible with God. Jesus is still calling our young people to his service. That is what matters most, and we must do whatever we can and use whatever we can to ensure that our kids are, at the very least, able to hear that call.
