Story and photos by Kathy-Ann Gobin
DANBURY — Living the Lord’s decree to love one another was the message at the 42nd Anniversary Mass at Saint John Paul II Center celebrated by Bishop Frank J. Caggiano.
“Love your enemies,” Bishop Caggiano said. “It is a challenge, that in your life and mine, is not always easy to face,” he said.
Volunteers and residents of the center, a 141-bed skilled nursing, rehabilitation and long-term care facility, gathered in the community room for the Mass to celebrate this special milestone.
Reflecting on the readings during his homily, Bishop Caggiano encouraged those in attendance to love those who are hard to love.
He questioned those gathered, “How do you do good to those who have hurt you, betrayed you or persecuted you? How do you love those who have hurt you so deeply?” Bishop Caggiano said he was not speaking of emotional or romantic love, but virtuous love.
“Love is a choice. It is to choose to do something,” he said. “In this case, to choose to do what may be good for the enemy, person who hurt you or me, and quite frankly, to do what’s good for oneself.”
Bishop Caggiano asked the residents to think of someone who hurt them who has not been forgiven, and then to try to choose not to think of the hurt or betrayal and see the person in a new way. “That’s the beginning of loving your enemy,” Bishop Caggiano said.
“Can we choose, that if we ever met them, that we would not go immediately to what they did to us, and what they deserve, and what punishment they should get? But rather meet them and start all over again?” he asked.
“What Jesus is saying is that to love our enemies and those who hurt us is a daily choice,” Bishop Caggiano said. “We’re always going to offend one another. It’s the nature of life. And sometimes if we dwell on why we were hurt and what we were hurt, we’ll never get beyond the hurt, we’ll never get beyond the wound and in the end, who is hurt by that? It is ourselves because we’re denied the joy and the happiness that God wants to give us even when we are hurt.”
“This is a wonderful community,” Bishop Caggiano said. “It’s one where you have many people who care for you and who love you and support you in so many different ways. You are blessed in many ways to be here despite the aches and pains that each of us has as we grow older.”
“But even in a loving place like this, every once in a while, we may offend one another. We may hurt one another, and we have a choice to either make that person our enemy or to keep that person our brother and sister. And my question to you is: What choice will you and I make?”
Director of Pastoral Care Sister Frances Smalkowski, CSFN, said she is grateful to the diocese, Bishop Caggiano and the previous bishops, as well as the owners of the facility who recognize the need and special care provided to the residents at the Saint John Paul II Center.
“This anniversary shows the dedication of the Diocese of Bridgeport to this ministry. The diocese has maintained the pastoral care department all these years, in the midst of so many changes of ownership,” said Sister Frances. The center is owned by Highbridge Healthcare, the third corporate entity to own the facility since the diocese sold it in the mid-2000s.
Fr. Milan Dimić, the chaplain at the center, thanked the volunteers for their gracious gift of time and dedication to enrich the lives of residents through simply being present in addition to assisting them with daily tasks.
“I enjoy coming to Mass and helping with the residents,” said Arlene Odell, who was an employee at the Lincoln Avenue facility for 38 years before coming back to volunteer for the past 15 years.
“I came back for the residents. I enjoy them,” said Odell, as she attentively walked behind a resident using a walker.
Jack and Fran Flynn, married for 67 years, began visiting the center when Jack’s mother was a resident. After his mother passed, 17 years ago, the couple began volunteering at the center. They now visit the center for Mass and to stay connected with residents and volunteers.
“When we volunteered, the appreciation of the residents and the help we could give (kept us coming back). It was good for us too,” said Fran Flynn, adding, “The volunteers become family. It was like coming home.”
Mike Flynn (no relation to Jack and Fran) has been volunteering at the center for the past 42 years.
“I love the people. It’s like a family,” said Flynn, adding there have been many wonderful memories over the past four decades.
One particularly special memory involves a time in the retired pilot’s life when he was between jobs and looking for a new opportunity. He said he shared his concerns with the residents and they said to him, “Why are you worried? We are all praying for you.” Flynn said within three days he landed what he called one of the best jobs he had in his career.
Flynn said he and his wife and children attend Sunday Mass at the center.
Following the anniversary Mass, a resident named John, who had recently received the sacraments of baptism and confirmation, and his support team who helped make it happen, all received a special blessing from Bishop Caggiano.
The bishop thanked everyone who has been a part of the Saint John Paul II Center community for the past 42 years and especially Sister Frances for her stewardship and dedication for most of her religious life to the Saint John Paul II Center.
At the conclusion of Mass, Bishop Caggiano also asked those in attendance to pray on the 25th anniversary of the attacks on September 11th.
“There are some wounds that are very hard to heal. The Lord says love your enemies. That’s not always easy,” said Bishop Caggiano, who was a pastor at St. Dominic Church in Brooklyn and said he saw the second tower collapse. “Let us pray for peace in our world. That people who are in conflict will find their way to live together because the world deserves peace. Every child of God deserves to live in integrity, dignity and prosperity.”
