By Joe Pisani
TRUMBULL — They gathered to remember husbands, wives, children, parents and friends. They gathered in love and grief around a 10-foot-tall Christmas tree at St. Joseph’s Center and hung ornaments dedicated to loved ones who died.
A sister who lost a brother to brain cancer. A friend who lost a best friend to Lou Gehrig’s Disease. A woman who lost a mother to Alzheimer’s. A mother who lost a daughter at 36. A father and son who lost their wife and mother. And a community of elderly who lost some 50 residents during 2023.
“Hanging an ornament with the name of a person you love who has died can be so healing,” said Carolyn Killian, Director of Bereavement for Catholic Cemeteries, who organized the event. “It can take a hard time and transform it into a healing moment, not just for you but for other members of your family.”
The tree, which is in the chapel, was blessed by Father Nick Pavia, chaplain of the nursing care facility and of the Bereavement Ministry, during a ceremony November 29.
Fr. Pavia said: “In preparing the blessing, two words came to mind, ‘blessed hope.’ Hope is not just wishful thinking; hope is insurance that comes from love and faith. And this community of Genesis St. Joseph’s Center is a community of love, of kindness, of compassion and of hope. We face death every day because death is a passage to our eternal hope.”
He also recalled a previous chaplain of the center, Fr. John Punnakunnel, who recently passed away in India on September 27 at the age of 94. Fr. Punnakunnel was known for his joy and regularly visited the sick and dying in hospitals and nursing homes.
Quoting the late Mother Angelica, Father Pavia said, “Hope in this life is looking forward to the promises of God, but heaven is the possession of those promises.”
“Heavenly Father, we are blessed with your hope and with all your blessings,” Father said. “The word ‘compassion’ means ‘able to feel with and identify with the feelings of others.’ You, Father, teach us how to have empathy and compassion for others, so bless this beautiful tree, this Christmas tree, this tree of hope, this tree of assurance of blessed hope in your promises. Dear Jesus, you understand us like no one else ever could because you walked in our shoes and deliberately took the role of the Good Shepherd to lift us up and carry us home to Heaven.”
After the blessing, people gathered around the tree, hung their ornaments and shared their stories.
Sophia Nemergut lost her husband Vincent two years ago on September 10, 2021. This year, she said, they would have been married 50 years.
“I came here 50 years ago from Poland,” she recalled. “He was from Slovakia and came in 1968. We met in America and got married.” They had three children and now seven grandchildren.
Photos by Joe Pisani
Ernie Maseto lost his wife Denise at the end of July, and shortly after, his mother-in-law Linda died. He came to the ceremony with his son Jesse, and they hung ornaments on the tree. At Thanksgiving dinner, Ernie said, there was an empty chair at the table in her honor.
Giovanna Griffin, administrator of St. Joseph’s Center, hung ornaments on the tree in remembrance of the residents who had died throughout the year, including her father Carmen, who passed in September and lived at the facility.
“This tree shows that St. Joseph’s Center is all about taking care of our current residents and remembering those who have passed,” she said. The tree will be up throughout the Christmas season.
In her comments, Killian thanked everyone for attending the ceremony, along with Father Pavia for his work with her in the ministry. She recalled the first Tree of Remembrance ceremony that was held a year ago at St. Mary/Putnam Cemetery in Greenwich, when more than 200 people came out.
“It was such a healing moment that I thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be lovely to be able to share this.’”
Killian acknowledged Dr. William Atwood, Director of the Music Ministry for the diocese, who provided music, along with Giovanna Griffin, administrator, Donna Palmer, director of recreation, Ed Tamimi, family advisor at Gate of Heaven Cemetery, and Abriola Parkview Funeral Home for providing refreshments.
“It was beautiful to see residents and community members coming together to honor the memory of their loved ones by placing an ornament on the Tree of Remembrance,” she later said.
“This simple but powerful gesture demonstrates we have not forgotten the people we have loved — we carry them in a special place in our hearts until we meet again.”
She also encourages anyone, who knows someone suffering a loss, to reach out with simple acts of kindness, such as helping them set up their tree if they plan to decorate one, saying a prayer for them, and offering to assist them any way possible during a painful time.
“These small gestures will help them on their healing journey — along with other members of their family because we never grieve alone,” Killian said. “When you hang an ornament on the tree with the name of someone you love, you recognize your grief, you remember your loved one, and you perform a small act that moves you forward and helps you heal.”
For more information about bereavement programs or to receive daily reflections from “The Healing Journey,” visit https://ctcemeteries.org/bereavement-support/
