By Joe Pisani
NORWALK—The Emmaus Ministry for Grieving Parents will hold a one-day spiritual retreat for anyone who has lost a child, on Saturday, June 24 from 9:30 am to 7:30 pm at St. Pius X Parish at 834 Brookside Drive in Fairfield.
The retreat is sponsored by the Bereavement Ministry of Catholic Cemeteries of the Diocese of Bridgeport. To get more information or to register, visit EMFGP.org or call Carolyn Killian, Director of Bereavement, at 203.404.0023. Since space is limited, early registration is encouraged; there is no fee for the event.
Killian said the retreat is for “parents who have lost a child of any age by any cause, no matter how long ago.”
“This is a retreat run by grieving parents for grieving parents who have lost a child. We want to reach out and support people who are in pain,” Killian said. “Grieving parents suffer a lifetime of pain. We recognize that signing up for this retreat may be an incredibly difficult thing for people to do, but we are here to support them.”
Research has shown that the loss of a child is “one of the greatest and most enduring stresses a person can experience.” Parents can suffer from emotional, health and social challenges even up to 20 years later, and they have a higher incidence of “prolonged grief.” By age 70, more than 15 percent of parents in the United States have experienced the death of a child.
“Many parents are suffering around us because they have lost a child,” Killian says. “Often, their friends and family won’t talk about it because they are terrified it could happen to them. There is also a sense of social awkwardness, which means grieving parents can be totally isolated in their grief.”
Killian says there is a saying in the Emmaus Ministry that “when your child dies, you have to rewrite your address book.” Many people who were your close friends fall away because they don’t know how to deal with this intense grief.
The retreat gives parents an opportunity to meet others who are suffering the same way they are. Killian stresses this is a spiritual retreat and not a support group.
“People are not required to introduce themselves and tell their story,” she said. “They are invited to attend sessions that are offered, as well as prayer services and Mass, but what they participate in is completely their decision. One part of the retreat involves lighting a beautiful memorial candle in memory of their child.”
Even though the purpose of the retreat is to serve the spiritual needs of parents, it is open to people of all faiths or no religious belief.
“Very often, grieving parents turn to God or run from God,” she said. “Intense grief impacts your relationship with God. Everyone is welcome, no matter where they are on their faith, or grief, journey.”
The retreat is conducted by Charley and Diane Monaghan, founders of The Emmaus Ministry for Grieving Parents, whose son Paul died unexpectedly in his 20s. The couple have spent two decades ministering to other people who have lost a child, no matter how old (from before birth to any age) and regardless of the cause of death. The couple are authors of the book Sorrow Like No Other: Supporting the Grief of a Parent Whose Child Has Died.
Since its beginning, the ministry has served more than a thousand parents from 26 states, Canada and Ireland. Killian said that further evidence of the need for this ministry is the repeated requests they have had to bring the program to grieving parents in other areas.
