Monthly Newspaper • DIOCESE OF BRIDGEPORT

Today we remember the lives of the children and educators who were killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School 11 years ago today, on December 14, 2012.

We pray for the repose of the souls of the victims, for healing and peace for their loved ones and survivors, and for an end to all violence in our community, especially for an end to gun violence in our country and across the world, and for the children who deserve childhoods filled with joy and free from violence and terror.

We remember

Charlotte Bacon, 6
She wanted to be a veterinarian when she grew up, and liked practicing Tae Kwon Do with her father and brother.

Daniel Barden, 7
He loved to ride waves at the beach and played drums in a band with his brother and sister.

Rachel D’Avino, 29
She was a hard worker and a risk-taker, and did everything with confidence, but never arrogance.

Olivia Engel, 7
She would lead the family in praying grace before dinner, and loved riding on her grandfather’s boat.

Josephine Gay, 7
She loved peanut butter and would use a new spoon for each mouthful. Her parents would find the spoons all around the house.

Dawn Hochsprung, 47
She made going to see the principal fun, and dressed as the Sandy Hook Book Fairy” to encourage reading.

Dylan Hockley, 6
He adored his big brother and liked to play tag with his neighbors at the bus stop.

Madeleine Hsu, 6
She would wear flowery dresses that matched her personality and loved her two sisters.

Catherine Hubbard, 6
She was known for her bright red hair and her love for animals.

Chase Kowalski, 7
He was a Cub Scout who loved to play baseball and run in races.

Jesse Lewis, 6
He loved playing with his toy soldier, and had an infectious and radiant smile.

Ana Marquez-Greene, 6
She loved to sing and never walked anywhere, preferring to dance from one place to another.

James Mattioli, 6
He was great at math, and his big brown eyes followed everything his big sister did.

Grace McDonnell, 7
She loved painting and would draw peace signs in the bathroom mirror when it fogged up after a shower.

Anne Marie Murphy, 52
She had four children and enjoyed the arts and walking in the great outdoors.

Emilie Parker, 6
She loved the color pink and filling notes with all her drawings.

Jack Pinto, 6
He loved the New York Giants and enjoyed wrestling during the football off-season.

Noah Pozner, 6
His favorite food was tacos, and he loved playing Super Mario on the Wii.

Caroline Previdi, 6
She loved art and dance, and some of her favorite words were, “Isn’t that WONDERFUL?”

Jessica Rekos, 6
She loved horseback riding, writing, and playing with her little brothers.

Avielle Richman, 6
She loved horses, Harry Potter, the color red, and running around without shoes on.

Lauren Rousseau, 30
She was known for her exuberance, her love of family and children, and her ever-present smile.

Mary Sherlach, 56
An avid Miami Dolphins fan, she loved helping her students overcome any problem.

Victoria Soto, 27
She had an infectious laugh and loved The Little Mermaid, flamingoes and the New York Yankees.

Benjamin Wheeler, 6
He was a strong swimmer, and enjoyed The Beatles, lighthouses and taking the 7 train to Sunnyside, Queens.

Allison Wyatt, 6
She would tape her drawings up all over the house and loved to make her parents laugh.

TRUMBULL — Students at St. Catherine of Siena School, from preschool through eighth grade, recently took part in a holiday tradition that began three decades ago, and decorated “Trees of Hope,” which will be raffled off to support children and families at Ronald McDonald House in New Haven.

According to Laura Hurley, director of marketing and enrollment, the school began participating in the annual event some 30 years ago at the request of Mrs. Lane Whitmoyer, a kindergarten teacher, who had a relative staying at the Ronald McDonald House. She asked Mrs. Patty Schickler, the seventh-grade teacher and student council moderator, to have the students work in their classes and make trees to donate.

This year, each tree decorated by the students had a different theme. The pre-school tree was Curious George; kindergarten was Crayola; first grade was First Responders; second grade was Beavers; third grade, Sports; fourth grade, Taylor Swift; fifth grade, Sweet Treats; sixth grade, Star of Bethlehem; seventh grade, Hawaiian; and eighth grade, Space.

The school financed the trees and the materials. The room mothers purchased the materials and worked with the classes to create the decorations.

“Trees of Hope is such an important tradition at SCSS because it gives the children a hands-on opportunity to participate in charity, said Tara Craig, second-grade room mother. “By engaging them in the process, we are able to open up a conversation about why we, as a school, do these trees and who the Ronald McDonald House benefits. It can be difficult for children to not be able to keep something they work hard on creating, but when they hear what good their gift can bring, a lesson in generosity is learned.”

Since 1990, the Trees of Hope benefit has been an annual event sponsored by Ronald McDonald House Charities of Connecticut and Western Massachusetts. The 34th Annual Trees of Hope will be held December 2 to 10, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily at the Maritime Center at 555 Long Wharf Drive in New Haven.

The event, which is open to the public, will feature more than 150 holiday displays donated and sponsored by individuals, businesses and community organizations. Raffle tickets are sold for $1 each, and attendees will be able to distribute their tickets towards the displays they would like to win. The proceeds will benefit Ronald McDonald House.

The Ronald McDonald House of Connecticut is at 860 Howard Avenue in New Haven, close to Yale-New Haven Children’s Hospital. The facility has 18 guest rooms and two respite rooms to serve families with children undergoing specialized medical treatment at hospitals and healthcare facilities around the state. (There is another house in Springfield, Mass.)

When the Connecticut facility opened in 1985, it was a 12 guest room house. In 2017, a new house opened as “a home away from home” for families of children who are being treated at nearby hospitals, including Yale-New Haven, the Hospital of St. Raphael and Bridgeport Hospital, among others.

By Emily Clark

Amid flickering candlelight and softly glowing evergreen trees came prayers of thanksgiving, chatter among friends, and a unique message of hope. Advent by Candlelight – An Inspirational Evening drew close to 100 women to the parish center at St. Pius X Church on Saturday evening, December 2. In addition to sharing a meal and fellowship, guests were inspired by the words of keynote speaker Jenny Hubbard, president of the Catherine Violet Hubbard Animal Sanctuary which she founded in memory of her daughter who died in the Sandy Hook School shooting.

In the dimly lit room, illuminated only by candlelight, tables set with mini Christmas trees and a tiny creche, fresh flowers and a little St. Nick welcomed those looking to begin this sacred, albeit hurried, season with moments of peaceful reflection. For event coordinator Karen Lannigan, such an intimate experience provided greater reverence to the season as women gathered together in community.

“I feel this is the right way, a beautiful way to start Advent,” said Holly Tilton of Norwalk, who shared a table with her friend Dorece Criscuolo of Easton. “This can be such a loud and busy time, so I really appreciate this quiet and reflective event.”

Criscuolo agreed, saying, “It’s women taking the time and putting the Lord first despite so many distractions in our lives.”

Following the meal, Lannigan introduced Jenny Hubbard, a role model for compassion, she said, whose personal testimony is a witness to faith and hope following the death of her daughter. “The decision to have Jenny as our guest speaker is because her story is so close to home,” Lannigan said. “She inspires women with the singular message that God is with us, no matter what the circumstances.”

While people associate Hubbard with the Sandy Hook tragedy and the loss of Catherine along with so many others 11 years ago, the messages emanating from her stories, though caused by suffering, were those of trust and acceptance. Suffering, she said, is a sacred place where we encounter the true and living God.

“When you hear of someone suffering, let your heart crack open a little bit. That is one way that we grow as Catholic women,” Hubbard said. “Through our suffering, He will always provide a way. We may not always like it, but we must accept it. He is there to protect us. I know this to be true.”

During Advent in another time and place, Hubbard experienced profound suffering – and acceptance. On December 14, 2012, waiting at the Sandy Hook Firehouse for news of her daughter Catherine, a first grader, she received comfort from a friend whom she had met through a Bible study. Her hands tightly gripping a strand of rosary beads, Hubbard prayed, “Dear God, bring her home.” Later that day, she realized that He had answered that prayer, as her daughter was home with Him in Heaven.

“God watched over Catherine and protected me because of the way He allowed me to live my life – through prayer and friendship,” she said, noting the importance of friends who helped her through those darkest days. Looking around at the tables before her, she gave a nod to the power of friendship among Catholic women, saying, “We are made for fellowship. I love seeing gatherings like this.”

For Lannigan, Hubbard embodies the hope experienced during Advent as Christians everywhere await the birth of Jesus. “There is a time and season for everything in our life and there is purpose in our suffering,” she said. “We just have to trust that He will reveal it in time.” Lannigan added that the event also allowed attendees to offer a donation to St. Pius X School and the Hunt Ridge Montessori School in Fairfield.

Father Sam Kachuba, pastor at St. Pius X, said such events “remind us that the Church is a community of communities. As Advent begins, I am very happy to see these women bound by the gift of their Catholic faith. They can look forward, together, to the coming of the Lord Jesus.”

“Lean into our Lord God,” Hubbard said in closing, “so when Christmas comes, you can celebrate.”

Today is Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary. The forerunner of this feast, the Conception of Mary, arose in the Eastern Church in the seventh century. By the eighth century, it had made its way to the Western Church and was renamed the Feast of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the 11th century. Pope Pius IX proclaimed it to be a feast of the universal Church in 1854.

Today also happens to be Friday of our fall pledge drive… one more day to make a big push to help us reach our goal!

Tune in to hear these fantastic guests!

2:00PM
Fr John Connaughton
Fr Connaughton is the pastor of St Cecilia & St Gabriel Church in Stamford.

3:00PM
Frank Marchetti
Frank Marchetti is the owner of the Columbus Park family of restaurants. He has also been instrumental in the growth of several Catholic schools in the area.

3:30PM
Mike Donoghue
Mike Donoghue is the Executive Director of Catholic Charities of Fairfield County

4:00PM
Fr Peter Lenox
Fr Lenox is the Rector of St Margaret Shrine in Bridgeport. He also serves the diocese as the Episcopal Vicar for Liturgy and Worship.

Tune in on the radio at 1350AM & 103.9FM or on the mobile app… and partner with us by:

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Dontate Now

Pax Christi,
Steve Lee & the Veritas team

NORWALK—Assisting those most in need is one of the ways the Knights of Columbus St. Matthew Council 14360 give thanks to God for their many blessings.

Recently the council joined forces with six local councils from Norwalk, Darien, New Canaan, Westport and Wilton on Saturday, November 4, at the Family & Children’s Agency Ben Franklin Community Center in South Norwalk. More than 750 brand new coats, gloves, hats, and scarves were distributed during the Knights of Columbus Coats for Kids event. This event helps keep kids warm over the winter months by providing this necessity. The goal of the Coats for Kids program is to ensure that children in need across North America have a warm, winter coat.

Through the dedication of councils across the United States and Canada, hundreds of thousands of new winter coats have been distributed to children since the program’s inception. Over 11,000 brand new coats were distributed by Connecticut Knights Councils at eight separate locations over the last month.

“Inflation has created an even bigger need in our community, so we do what Knights do by assisting our brothers and sisters when times are rough,” said Project Chair and Council 14360 Past Grand Knight, George Ribellino. “My biggest joy is seeing the smiles of the kids’ faces as they try on a brand-new coat.”

The council has been assisting the Family & Children’s Agency in several ways since 2009 including being a sponsor of their annual Foster Care Holiday party.

“I am so grateful to the Knights of Columbus for providing brand new coats to our clients in need. As prices rise and children grow, winter clothing can be a financial burden for families, so this partnership with the Knights has been truly impactful in the community,” said Robert F. Cashel, President & CEO of FCA.

On Thanksgiving Day, Council 14360 members helped usher, read and clean for the 9 am Thanksgiving Mass at St. Matthew. In addition, the Council also provided a Knights of Columbus Honor Guard for the Mass. At the conclusion of the Mass, the council teamed up with Bishop Fenwick Assembly 100 and the Catholic Daughters of the America’s St. Matthew Court 2640 to provide and deliver a Thanksgiving meal for the residents of Homes for the Brave for the tenth consecutive year.

“Our men and women appreciative of the delicious food, and we could not be more appreciative. What a blessing St. Matthew Council #14360, Bishop Fenwick Assembly 100 and Catholic Daughters Court 2640 have been to us. All of us at Homes for the Brave are extremely grateful as you made the day incredibly special for our residents,” said Homes for the Brave CEO/Executive Director, Vince Santilli.

On Black Friday, November 24, council members started off the day by going to Mass at St. Matthew. After Mass, three carloads of food collected at Thanksgiving Mass was delivered to Blessed Sacrament Parish’s pastor, Father Skip Karcsinski.

“Giving back to those in need during the Thanksgiving season is truly a blessing for our council. One of the most profound ways we can truly give thanksgiving to God is through serving others,” said Grand Knight Chris O’Connor.

The Council prepared for Advent by hosting the Annual Keep Christ in Christmas Creche Blessing and Christmas Tree Lighting at St. Matthew Church. The St Matthew Children’s choir sang Christmas Carols for all in attendance and council chaplain and St Matthew Pastor, Father Frank Hoffmann blessed the creche and Christmas Tree and the beautiful Norway Spruce dedicated in memory of former pastor Monsignor Walter Orlowski was lit. The St. Matthew Knights provided pizza and beverages in the parish center Great Room to end the festive event. All parishioners received a free Keep Christ in Christmas pin as a gift from the council.

“This is a great way to get ready for the Advent season in preparation for the celebration of the birth of Christ,” said Council 14360 Grand Knight Chris O’Connor.

The council will continue to give back to the community this Advent season by assisting the Norwalk Toys for Tots organization with the picking up of all the Toys for Tots boxes in Norwalk, Westport and Fairfield to help distribute toys to those in need.

The goal of the Knights of Columbus Council at St. Matthew in Norwalk is to perform acts of charity. Providing those in need with a range of support from financial to tactical help in dealing with a wide variety of challenges. Council members work together to foster the founding principles of our order: charity, unity, fraternity, and patriotism. Our goal as a council is to continue to identify specific needs in our community and muster support and help to alleviate these challenges and hardships to the best of our abilities and resources.

(For more information, please go to kofc14360.net. If you are a Catholic man interested in putting your faith in action, join the Knights of Columbus online for free at kofc.org/join and use promo code BLESSEDMCGIVNEY)

BRIDGEPORT—The Institute for Catholic Formation is pleased to announce four Diocese of Bridgeport parishes have been selected as partners of the National Federation for Catholic Youth Ministry’s grant funded initiative, the Accompaniment Project.

The National Federation for Catholic Youth Ministry (NFCYM)has invited 43 parishes throughout the United States to participate in five cohorts for the Accompaniment Project.

Each cohort of parishes will work with an NFCYM-appointed coach to train an Accompaniment Steering Committee who will lead the work of the project for a period of three years. In that time, the parish leaders hope to educate the adults in their communities on what it means to accompany young people in faith as well as to provide them with the practical skills they need to do so. In this effort, these parishes will be testing a new model of ministering with young people which focuses on developing a community of faith companions for the youth.

“I am very proud of the staff and volunteers at these parishes,” said Dr. Patrick Donovan, executive director of the Institute for Catholic Formation. “They put a great deal of effort into the application process, and I’m excited to see how their vision comes to life. At the same time, the Diocese of Bridgeport is very grateful to the NFCYM, for their willingness to partner with our parishes, share their expertise, and contribute to our shared ministry with young people.”

The four Diocese of Bridgeport parishes selected for the project include Our Lady of Fatima Parish, Bridgeport; St. Peter Parish, Bridgeport; St. James Parish, Stratford; and St. Stephen Parish, Trumbull.

These parishes are part of a cohort of others in the Northeastern United States, including the Holy Rood Collaborative (St. Mary, St. John the Baptist and St. Margaret of Scotland parishes) of the Archdiocese of Boston; Ascension Parish of the Archdiocese of New York; Holy Innocents Parish of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia; St. Katharine Drexel Parish of the Diocese of Camden, N.J.; and St. Matthias Parish of the Diocese of Metuchen, N.J.

Other partnering dioceses and cohorts include:

Archdiocese of New Orleans: Mary, Queen of Peace Parish, Mandeville; Our Lady of Lourdes Parish; Our Lady of the Holy Rosary Parish, Hahnville; St. Anthony of Padua Parish; St. Clement of Rome Parish, Metairie; St. Maria Goretti Parish, New Orleans; St. Paul the Apostle Parish, New Orleans; SS. Peter and Paul Parish, Pearl River; St. Peter Claver Parish, New Orleans

Diocese of Crookston, Minn.: Assumption Parish; Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception; Holy Rosary Parish; St. Ann Parish; St. Bernard Parish; St. Joseph Parish; St. Mary Parish; St. Peter Parish.

Diocese of St. Augustine, Fla. & Diocese of Venice, Fla.: St. Paul Parish, Diocese of St. Augustine; Epiphany Cathedral, Diocese of Venice; Our Lady Queen of Heaven Parish, Diocese of Venice; St. Catherine Parish, Diocese of Venice; St. Joseph Parish, Diocese of Venice; St. Paul Parish, Diocese of Venice; St. Peter the Apostle Parish, Diocese of Venice

National Online Cohort: St. Elizabeth Seton Parish, Archdiocese of Baltimore; Sacred Heart of Jesus Parish, Diocese of Baton Rouge, La.; Our Lady of the Valley Parish, Diocese of Birmingham, Ala.; St. Thomas the Apostle Parish, Diocese of Birmingham, Ala.; St. Pius X Parish, Diocese of Great Falls-Billings, Mont.; Holy Savior Parish, Diocese of Jackson, Miss.; St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Parish, Archdiocese of Las Vegas; St. John Paul II Parish, Archdiocese of Las Vegas; The Grove Collaborative (Good Shepherd, St. Joseph, St. Maria Goretti and St. Vincent de Paul parishes), Diocese of Sacramento, Calif.; Our Lady of Perpetual Help, Diocese of San Bernardino, Calif.

For more information, visit nfcym.org/accompaniment-project

DANBURY—Immaculate High School is proud to announce that one of its freshman students, Maximillian Fleming of Redding, earned a perfect score of 1440 on the PSAT 8/9.

Immaculate administers the PSAT to freshman and sophomores as a way to practice for the SAT test junior year. It’s all part of the school’s rigorous college preparatory program. Fleming was the only student taking the PSAT at Immaculate this year to earn a perfect score. The PSAT 8/9 consists of 98 questions divided into two sections, reading and writing and math, and takes approximately 134 minutes to complete (according to the College Board).

“We are incredibly proud of him,” said Dean of Counseling Timothy Nash. “This is no easy feat. We also want to encourage all students that, no matter what score they earned, there’s always time to practice and improve. This is precisely why we give the PSAT as a practice exam.”

BRIDGEPORT—The 39 men and women who received Papal Honors on December 3, were recognized not simply for what they’ve done for the Church but for who they are, Bishop Frank J. Caggiano said before conferring the Papal Medals at St. Augustine Cathedral.

During the evening of Solemn Pontifical Vespers the bishop described the honorees as “ambassadors of renewal and catalysts of hope” chosen to be honored by Pope Francis for their extraordinary witness, deep generosity and authentic faith.

“You may be tempted to believe that you are here solely because of the good works that you have done. And that is in fact one reason. But it is not the most important reason.  You are here because you have lived a life that demonstrates that a person can rejoice in the Lord and make a difference in the lives of those who face challenge and suffering, day in and day out,” said Bishop Caggiano.

The medal recipients along with family and friends and other faithful gathered for the service, which included the chanting of psalms,  traditional hymns and other music by the Diocesan Choir.  Family photos with the bishop were taken before and after the service as people came forward in joy and gratitude to celebrate the honor.

During the Vespers Prayer Service, the Bishop conferred Benemerenti Medals and Pro Ecclesia et Pontifice Cross Medals on those who have served the diocese as donors, board members, and Catholic Center staff.

As he blessed the medals on a table before the altar, the Bishop prayed, “Bless these insignia and those who will receive them. Renew within these men and women the gifts of your Spirit that they may continue to serve your Church in strength of will and sincerity of heart. “

In his homily, he reflected on a letter from Paul to the Philippians (4:4-7) “Brothers and Sisters rejoice in the Lord always…”  The bishop said those words from Paul were remarkable because he had suffered much after being shipwrecked, imprisoned, and having his life threatened because of his faith in Jesus.

The bishop said that the honorees, who serve the diocese and its people in a variety of ways, were chosen because they have not forgotten or overlooked the suffering of others.

“You yourselves have been no stranger to challenges in your own lives, but you also clearly see the challenges of our sisters and brothers, those who are poor, those who are homeless, those who are sick, those who are young, seeking an education to be formed in the mind of Christ.”

Photos by Owen Bonaventura

He described the men and women as individuals and couples who “walk quietly and generously in your life making a difference in so many unassuming ways for those who are facing such profound challenge. Many when they see such challenge walk away, but you did not.”

He concluded by describing the men and women as agents of renewal who draw others to the Church through their authentic witness.

“You are my greatest and most important colleagues to continue the renewal of the church, because the renewal of the church will not be any grand program, any grand initiative. There’s none of that. All those days are over. The renewal of the church is going to be one person of authentic life touching the life of someone else. And when we touch one after another, after another, we begin to create a tsunami of renewal.”

The last time Papal Honors were conferred was in September 2018, when ten faithful were inducted into the Order of Saint Gregory the Great, and ten were inducted into the Order of Pope Saint Sylvester.

Pro Ecclesia et Pontifice Cross Medals are bestowed on individuals who have merited special recognition by the Holy See.  The Medal, gold in color, is a Pontifical decoration conferred by the Pope on those faithful who have provided a distinguished level of service for both the universal Church and its head which deserve special recognition by him for their labors, and for their fidelity to and love of the Church. The obverse side of the medal depicts Sts. Peter and Paul in its center.

Benemerenti Medals are bestowed on individuals who have merited special recognition by the Holy See. This Medal is a Pontifical decoration conferred on recipients for distinguished service to Catholic principles, the Church and society, who have shown an active fidelity to and love for the Church. The medal is a Greek Cross, gold in color, depicting Jesus Christ with his hand raised in blessing

Papal Honors Recipients:

Mr. Conrad and Mrs. Carol Calandra

St. Lawrence Parish, Shelton

Cross Pro Ecclesia

Ms. Debbie Charles

St. Thomas Aquinas Parish, Fairfield

Benemerenti

Dr. Steven Cheeseman

St. Mark Parish, Stratford

Benemerenti

Mr. Charles and Mrs. Ruth Chiusano

St. Pius X Parish, Fairfield

Benemerenti

Ms. Sheila Clancy

St. Pius X Parish, Fairfield

Benemerenti

Mr. Jim Colica

St. Mary Parish, Greenwich

Benemerenti

Mr. Al and Mrs. Chris DiGuido

St. Pius X Parish, Fairfield

Cross Pro Ecclesia

Mr. Michael and Mrs. Cece Donoghue

St. Thomas More Parish, Darien

Benemerenti

Ms. Betty Dunne

St. Matthew Parish, Norwalk

Benemerenti

Ms. Lisa Ferraro

St. Aloysius Parish, New Canaan

Benemerenti

Mr. Kevin and Mrs. Yvonne Grimes

St. Rose of Lima Parish, Newtown

Cross Pro Ecclesia

Mr. Michael Hanlon

Our Lady of Mount Carmel Parish, Hamden

Benemerenti

Mrs. Judy Higgins

St. Mary Parish, Greenwich

Cross Pro Ecclesia

Mr. Edward and Mrs. Lydia Knapp

Georgetown Oratory, Redding

Benemerenti

Mr. Andy Knuth

St. Francis of Assisi Parish, Weston

Cross Pro Ecclesia

Mr. Tom Kolenberg

Basilica of St. John the Evangelist, Stamford

Cross Pro Ecclesia

Mrs. Anne McCrory

St. Anthony of Padua Parish, Fairfield

Benemerenti

Mrs. Erin Neil-Hickey

St. Louis de Montfort Parish, Litchfield

Benemerenti

Mr. Bill and Mrs. Diane Parrett

St. Aloysius Parish, New Canaan

Cross Pro Ecclesia

Mr. Peter and Mrs. Barbara Ripp

St. Michael the Archangel Parish, Greenwich

Cross Pro Ecclesia

Mrs. Grace Rodriguez

St. Aloysius Parish, New Canaan

Cross Pro Ecclesia

Mr. Andrew Schulz

St. Anthony of Padua Parish, Fairfield

Benemerenti

Mr. Bob and Mrs. Barbara Scinto

St. Pius X Parish, Fairfield

Cross Pro Ecclesia

Mr. John and Mrs. Cindy Sites

St. John Parish, Darien

Cross Pro Ecclesia

Mr. Patrick and Mrs. Mary Ann Toole

St. Luke Parish, Westport

Benemerenti

Mr. Brian D. Wallace

St. Anthony of Padua Parish, Fairfield

Benemerenti

Mr. Chris and Mrs. Lorraine Wilson

St. Thomas Aquinas Parish, Fairfield

Cross Pro Ecclesia

It is November, with its Feasts of All Saints and All Souls Day. On these days I do remember people who figured prominently in my life, people with whom I identified myself. Many of them were relatives, the familiar people whose faces I can picture and voices I can remember. They were the voices of home, of summertime, and Sundays and holidays, and meals together with all the simple joys. I can see before me the faces of grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins and nephews and nieces, god-fathers. Their memory bring back happy times and some situations touched by suffering. Et omnibus in Christo quiescentibus, “and for all who rest in Christ.” How much meaning these words have gathered.

So many people I loved are gone. In the language of St. Paul and the early Christians, they “fell asleep.” Mk. 5:39: “And when He had entered, He said to them, ‘why do you make a tumult and weep? The child is not dead but sleeping.’”

Death after death has marred my life and I find myself more and more alone. One can have a fear of some final loneliness. So much fear in the world is fear of this loneliness.
All the people who had loved the young man I once was are gone. For me, a whole world has lived and died. There’s been so many deaths, one after the other. So much is ended. It makes for a lonesome world. Sometimes a procession troops through my mind of all the people I’ve loved and were now dead. There are those who can never be replaced. With them gone, the world seems strangely empty. I thought them immortal. There are times when I catch myself looking for some of them, even expecting to see them. Sometimes I do feel a special sense of their presence in my life.

A number of times I was with a dying loved one. I learned that all of us take with us the knowledge of having loved and having been loved. Research has proven that the five last things which people most want or need at the end of their lives are:

• Granting forgiveness
• Seeking forgiveness
• Expressing gratitude
• Demonstrating love
• Saying good-bye

My Aunt Mae died without a sound, as if to spare her visitors any further trouble. She died softly and quietly. She raised her eyes to heaven, smiled with an expression of mingled happiness, surprise, and delight, and expired.

The loss that marked my life more than anything was the death of my wife, Marcy. It was as if she were going away from me and I could not hold her back. It was as if she were bidding me farewell. I’m convinced that dead she watches over my life.

I’ve often asked God to allow my dead wife to come for me on my deathbed. I often think of old men struggling on alone, experiencing the weariness of survival. Their body has become a burden and a chore for them. It feels as if their body has betrayed and confined them.

As Saint Therese of Lisieux said: “Dying is the last thing I’ll have a chance to do well.” I hope I won’t have left behind any unsaid apologies and unstated affections. The way I would like it to be would be would be no doctors, no hospitals, no sickness and shame, just a sudden step across the line. I would like to end my life giving as little fuss as possible.

There is a Jewish Midrash that says that when a fig is gathered at the proper time it is good. The owner of the fig tree knows when their fruit is ripe for plucking, and he plucks it. It is the same way with dying. God knows when the time of the righteousness has come. As Julian of Norwich said: “His wisdom and love do not allow the end to come until the best time.” I’d like to die in harness, peacefully and composed. There’s an anguish that troubles me at the thought that some day I won’t “be here.” We are all destined to have someone say of us one day, “He’s gone.”

You know, I can still vividly remember my 8th grade classmates. They are not nameless. They are known. I feel they were mine, and shall ever be. An ancient Aztec Indian prayer states that all is on loan; we are only on loan to each other for a short time.

In John 11:23-25 Jesus makes the promise that anyone bereaved of a loved one wants to hear Jesus say to him/her: “Your brother will rise again.” Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again on the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even if they die, will live.”

As I grow older I grow more inclined to see death as the gateway into life, the end of the journey, and the arrival home. The time will come for me to weigh anchor for the final journey. I believe the promise that our death will reunite us with those loved ones who have died, that we will once again see their faces and hear their voices. St. Therese of Lisieux wrote of her parents meeting each other and their dead children in heaven.

There’s that reunion I imagine for me, a gathering of loved ones that awaits me. Sometimes I picture all the people I loved and lost marching toward me from their graves.

I’m disinclined to exit. But I surrender to the mystery of God’s love and mercy.

“One short sleep past and we wake eternally, and death shall be no more; death thou shalt die” (John Donne).

“All life death does end, and each day dies with sleep now. It is all death life does end, and each day lives forever” Enough! The Resurrection.” (Gerard Manley Hopkins)

There’s one more quote I very much like:

Because I could not stop for death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held just ourselves And immortality.
We slowly drove,
he knew no haste,
And I had put away my leisure too,
For his civility (Emily Dickinson).

When I went to the Connecticut Catholic Men’s Conference recently, I heard a new approach on how to increase vocations to the priesthood. An approach that we all have to embrace, not just for more priests, but to save our Church and to save our country during these troubled and desperate times.

Father Anthony Federico, director of vocations for the Archdiocese of Hartford, stood before 600 men and told them: “I am here today because I am not satisfied with empty churches, and I am not satisfied when Holy Mother Church is degraded because I do not believe the Son of God died on the cross for what we see today.”

So what is he doing about it? Every night, he goes before the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament on his knees and “begs him for total renewal in our Church.”

Then, he appealed to the audience and said: “I ask you to beg with me, I ask you to beg the Lord for new priests in our Church.”

To be sure, he’s doing other things besides begging Jesus, but it has to start with begging … and not just ordinary begging. We have to beg Jesus face-to-face before the Blessed Sacrament.

Our Church and our world are beset by countless intractable problems that won’t be solved by another task force, another committee, another report, another focus group, another survey, or another study, with or without artificial intelligence. Don’t get me wrong. Those things are fine, and they keep people employed, but unless we’re begging Jesus for help, they won’t mean anything.

It’s reached a time in the history of the Church and our country for us to fall on our knees in humility before the Blessed Sacrament and beg Christ to save us. We have to beg for more priests, for our family members and friends who have fallen away from the faith, for our own faith to be strengthened, for our divided country, for our divided Church, for an end to war, for an end to the anger and anxiety, and for hope and courage.

When Father Federico told his story about going before the Blessed Sacrament every night, he didn’t say, “I asked him.” He didn’t say, “I appealed to him.” He didn’t say, “I petitioned him.” He didn’t say, “I urged him.” More than once, he said, “I begged him.”

When it comes to Christ, none of us should think begging is beneath us.

Do you remember the Gospel story about that very annoying and very persistent Syrophoenician woman who approached Jesus because her daughter was possessed by an unclean spirit? She had more chutzpah than the entire island of Manhattan.

St. Mark said she fell at Jesus’ feet and “begged him to drive the demon out of her daughter.” At first, Jesus rebuffed her and said, “It’s not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.” Hearing that, anyone else would have crept away downcast, but she came right back at him with her famous retort:“ Lord, even the dogs under the table eat the children’s scraps.”

“For saying this, you may go,” he told her. “The demon has gone out of your daughter.”

Jesus gets it. Do you remember the parable in Luke’s Gospel about the need to pray with persistence?

Jesus said: “There was a judge in a certain town who neither feared God nor respected any human being. And a widow in that town used to come to him and say, ‘Render a just decision for me against my adversary.’ For a long time, the judge was unwilling, but eventually he thought, ‘While it is true that I neither fear God nor respect any human being, because this widow keeps bothering me, I shall deliver a just decision for her, lest she finally come and strike me.’”

The Lord said, “Pay attention to what the dishonest judge says. Will not God then secure the rights of his chosen ones who call out to him day and night? Will he be slow to answer them? I tell you, he will see to it that justice is done for them speedily.”

We have to be like that widow. We have to be like that Syrophoenician woman. We have to “call out to him day and night,” as if our lives depended on it. Because they do.

We wondered if it would ever happen. While the other siblings were settled, he was the restless one. We thought he was content being “fun Uncle Dave,” as his nieces and nephews called him, but we were wrong, for all he needed was a little more time. My youngest brother, the supposedly confirmed bachelor who was known for spontaneity, a love of travel, and his city apartment, was getting married.

Though he often had a date for holidays and events—kind, engaging women whom the family welcomed—after a few months, he’d usually say that they were just not “the one.” He watched as friends around him married and settled down. Many had children. One became a priest. To an extent, he enjoyed his single life and the freedom it brought, but I knew my little brother longed for a partner, one to share his life. This became more apparent as he approached his mid-40s, and we wondered, maybe his plan wasn’t God’s plan.

Then, about a year ago, Dave confided in me that he had met Christie. From the first time he introduced her to us at Easter dinner last spring, we saw something different. The ease of their interactions. The genuine laughter between them. The moral values they shared. The way “I” quickly became “we.” Maybe she’s “the one,” we thought.

“No, he’s still just fun Uncle Dave,” Elizabeth assured us, wondering about this woman who had captured the heart of her beloved godfather. “It’s hard to even picture him married!” Abigail answered.

We felt the same, even as the dating apps and well-meaning colleagues introduced him to others looking for love. No one, though, was a partner with whom he could imagine spending his life. It wasn’t until he paused from looking and trying that a new co-worker saw an empty seat next to him at a meeting and struck up a conversation. A connection was made, and he admitted that from the start, he thought he had found “the one.”

Like my brother, Christie had rocky relationships and wondered if she was destined to remain single or to settle for someone just to please others. Even as she struggled and approached her early 40s, hope remained. Was her plan God’s plan?

It was, for them both. It just took a little longer than some.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” I have often thought of this passage from Ecclesiastes in the weeks since Dave called us to share his news. The seasons they spent apart were necessary to bring them together. God led my brother and Christie down a myriad of pathways that seemed, at times, confusing, but in reality, those experiences led them exactly where they needed to be—with each other in mid-life near that empty chair in a meeting room.

Though I think they will both retain their spontaneity and love of travel, fun Uncle Dave will now have a wife, and the city apartment will now be a split level in the suburbs, a home where we can all gather “under heaven.”

By Joe Pisani

TRUMBULL — They gathered to remember husbands, wives, children, parents and friends. They gathered in love and grief around a 10-foot-tall Christmas tree at St. Joseph’s Center and hung ornaments dedicated to loved ones who died.

A sister who lost a brother to brain cancer. A friend who lost a best friend to Lou Gehrig’s Disease. A woman who lost a mother to Alzheimer’s. A mother who lost a daughter at 36. A father and son who lost their wife and mother. And a community of elderly who lost some 50 residents during 2023.

“Hanging an ornament with the name of a person you love who has died can be so healing,” said Carolyn Killian, Director of Bereavement for Catholic Cemeteries, who organized the event. “It can take a hard time and transform it into a healing moment, not just for you but for other members of your family.”

The tree, which is in the chapel, was blessed by Father Nick Pavia, chaplain of the nursing care facility and of the Bereavement Ministry, during a ceremony November 29.

Fr. Pavia said: “In preparing the blessing, two words came to mind, ‘blessed hope.’ Hope is not just wishful thinking; hope is insurance that comes from love and faith. And this community of Genesis St. Joseph’s Center is a community of love, of kindness, of compassion and of hope. We face death every day because death is a passage to our eternal hope.”

He also recalled a previous chaplain of the center, Fr. John Punnakunnel, who recently passed away in India on September 27 at the age of 94. Fr. Punnakunnel was known for his joy and regularly visited the sick and dying in hospitals and nursing homes.

Quoting the late Mother Angelica, Father Pavia said, “Hope in this life is looking forward to the promises of God, but heaven is the possession of those promises.”

“Heavenly Father, we are blessed with your hope and with all your blessings,” Father said. “The word ‘compassion’ means ‘able to feel with and identify with the feelings of others.’ You, Father, teach us how to have empathy and compassion for others, so bless this beautiful tree, this Christmas tree, this tree of hope, this tree of assurance of blessed hope in your promises. Dear Jesus, you understand us like no one else ever could because you walked in our shoes and deliberately took the role of the Good Shepherd to lift us up and carry us home to Heaven.”

After the blessing, people gathered around the tree, hung their ornaments and shared their stories.

Sophia Nemergut lost her husband Vincent two years ago on September 10, 2021. This year, she said, they would have been married 50 years.

“I came here 50 years ago from Poland,” she recalled. “He was from Slovakia and came in 1968. We met in America and got married.” They had three children and now seven grandchildren.

Photos by Joe Pisani

Ernie Maseto lost his wife Denise at the end of July, and shortly after, his mother-in-law Linda died. He came to the ceremony with his son Jesse, and they hung ornaments on the tree. At Thanksgiving dinner, Ernie said, there was an empty chair at the table in her honor.

Giovanna Griffin, administrator of St. Joseph’s Center, hung ornaments on the tree in remembrance of the residents who had died throughout the year, including her father Carmen, who passed in September and lived at the facility.

“This tree shows that St. Joseph’s Center is all about taking care of our current residents and remembering those who have passed,” she said. The tree will be up throughout the Christmas season.

In her comments, Killian thanked everyone for attending the ceremony, along with Father Pavia for his work with her in the ministry. She recalled the first Tree of Remembrance ceremony that was held a year ago at St. Mary/Putnam Cemetery in Greenwich, when more than 200 people came out.

“It was such a healing moment that I thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be lovely to be able to share this.’”

Killian acknowledged Dr. William Atwood, Director of the Music Ministry for the diocese, who provided music, along with Giovanna Griffin, administrator, Donna Palmer, director of recreation, Ed Tamimi, family advisor at Gate of Heaven Cemetery, and Abriola Parkview Funeral Home for providing refreshments.

“It was beautiful to see residents and community members coming together to honor the memory of their loved ones by placing an ornament on the Tree of Remembrance,” she later said.

“This simple but powerful gesture demonstrates we have not forgotten the people we have loved — we carry them in a special place in our hearts until we meet again.”

She also encourages anyone, who knows someone suffering a loss, to reach out with simple acts of kindness, such as helping them set up their tree if they plan to decorate one, saying a prayer for them, and offering to assist them any way possible during a painful time.

“These small gestures will help them on their healing journey — along with other members of their family because we never grieve alone,” Killian said. “When you hang an ornament on the tree with the name of someone you love, you recognize your grief, you remember your loved one, and you perform a small act that moves you forward and helps you heal.”

For more information about bereavement programs or to receive daily reflections from “The Healing Journey,” visit https://ctcemeteries.org/bereavement-support/