“All the unhappiness of men arises from one single fact, that they cannot stay quietly in their own room” (Blaise Pascal).
Today, in both secular and religious society, the presumption seems to be that shared experiences are the only ones that count. However, a more mature spiritual life involves the neglected disciplines of solitude and silence.
Jesus had a manifest need for solitude. He often sought solitude. He needed to be alone quite a bit. After an outpouring of healing he sought quiet withdrawal—Mk. 1:35: “In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed.” There’s Lk. 5:1516: “Crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus habitually withdrew to deserted places where he could be alone and pray.” He even spent whole nights in prayer—Lk. 6:12: “He departed to the mountain to pray, and he spent the night in prayer.”
The renown spirituality scholar, Henri Nouwen, stated that “without solitude it is virtually impossible to have a spiritual life. We do not take the spiritual life seriously if we do not set aside some time to be with God and listen to Him.” St. Athanasius said that solitude is as essential to the spiritual life as water is to the survival of fish.” And the Muslim Sufi, Sarnad, taught that if you wish to meet the Lord, then practice solitude. We need to spend time without other humans, to be alone with God.
There’s the astounding and galvanizing story of John Fairfax, who alone in 1969 rowed across the Atlantic. He was at sea for months on end with only himself for company. He kept a diary of his journey. He wrote that for a while he experienced loneliness but reached a point of liking it. There was “the vibrancy of the stillness.” He came to realize what mattered to him in life and what did not. He switched his transistor radio on for shorter and shorter periods each day and sometimes not at all. “I loathed having my solitude shattered by the sound of human voices chattering.” Even the diary in which he recorded his progress came to feel like a hinderance. “Writing spoiled things; it was like having company.” After months without human contact, Fairfax was invited aboard a passing German ship. The German crew was kind and gave him delicious treats and supplied him with some needed goods. Fairfax wrote: “but once these had been supplied, I craved for the solitude that had been mine for so long.” Back in his boat, he felt relief. “Solitude was like a cherished companion without whom I was at a loss.” So much so that, spotting another ship a few nights afterward, “I switched off my torch, lest they see it and I watched the ship disappear.”
In 1934, Richard Byrd volunteered with a group of others to establish a weather station deep in the Antarctic, near the South Pole. The last minutes found his would-be companions turning back. Byrd settled in alone, and stayed for four and a half months, as the temperature outside the hut dipped to 83 degrees below zero. Byrd became meditative. He wrote that out of the silence came a “gentle rhythm.” Just as John Fairfax aboard his tiny boat on the Atlantic, Byrd wished he didn’t have to have the radio on. Speaking of his experience in Antarctica he said “I felt more alive than at any other time in my life. I became better able to tell what in the world is wheat for me and what is straw. I was never bored.” In his diary for April 14, Byrd recorded: “took my daily walk at 4 PM today. I paused to listen to the silence. There was great peace. I could feel a oneness with the universe.” On another occasion, writing in his diary, he refers to feeling more alive than at any time in his life. He wrote of gaining something he had not fully possessed before—an appreciation of the sheer beauty and miracle of being alive. After his time in Antarctica Byrd noted: “I live more simply now, and with more peace.”
These solo adventurers tell of being not just unafraid of solitude but loving it. They became totally at home in it. Our Catholic spiritual writers call us to build times of solitude into our lives, times that should be treasured and guarded. We should carve out a sacred place for ourselves, a place designated for times alone with God.
Preferably, one should identify a place in one’s home, and build a time of solitude into the day. One unplugs from the demands of family life and trusts that God will care for one’s family while one is in solitude for a little while. Occasionally, one may bring young children to share in this special time. One may be surprised at how well children respond.
In classic Catholic tradition, processes like illumination, purgation, letting go, transformation can result from this practice. We can learn how lovely apartness can be, and when alone we can be more alive. The time set apart for being and listening may grow from 10 minutes to 20 minutes and perhaps a half hour. We strive to be faithful to the practice. Ideally, one may have some access to woods or the sea. Hosea 2:14: “I will allure her, and I will lead her into the wilderness, and I will speak to her heart.” But for most of us there are the words of Mt. 6:6: “Whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father in secret.”
Praying involves more than vocal prayers. Indeed, Jesus warned against wordy prayers (cf. Mt.6:7).
